Sky’s the Limit
YOUR AIRPLANE HAS A FEW THINGS TO SAY
By Jennifer Reynolds | jensunshine3@gmail.com
HELLO READERS! Here’s a little something different as we near the year’s end. This column is written from the perspective of your airplane. If it had feelings and could share them with you, these are a few things that I imagine it might want you to know.
Please Don’t Store Me Here All the Time
“Look, I appreciate that you’re storing me safely and soundly on this high shelf, away from harm’s way. I like this spot. There’s minimal foot traffic. There aren’t visiting toddlers or wagging tails near me.
“But that vase next to me has got to go. It still has stagnant flower water in it, and frankly, its coloring is a bit bold for my taste. It clashes with this nice covering that you recently ironed on me. And it just sits there, flowerless, sad, and loud. I can’t take it.
“See that book down there? It sure does look intriguing with that catchy title and all. One night, I’d like to maybe be placed near that so that I can check out the first chapter.
“Don’t think that I haven’t noticed your new decorative sofa pillows. They are so much comfier than this shelf—ideal for my evening rest after spending all day on a hard shelf, next to that vase.”
Change Things Up for Me Please!
“My cousin, Di Hedral, often tells me about being relegated haphazardly to the edge of a guestroom bed after occasional flights. She’s surrounded by dusty high school yearbooks from the 1960s and a box of brittle, sun-ruined airplane covering. It’s been this way for Di for years. She’s in therapy for it too, feeling left out and always stored in a room that no one ever uses except once a year around the holidays when Grandma visits, or when someone is in the doghouse after an argument.
“It’s not a place people often end up or want to end up, and her post-flight storage has left her with feelings of abandonment, so she’s a tad resentful. And her owners wonder why she flies glitchy sometimes or gives them grief by not easily starting!
“I’ve even heard the horrors of being stashed in a closet, with a bathrobe on one side and an aunt’s muumuu on the other, but I digress. All I’m saying is that proper storage consideration is essential for me and subsequently affects how well I choose to cooperate during your flights. Move me from time to time, or at least get that vase away from me.”
Take Me to New Places to Fly
“It’s nice to come back to familiar places, where I get to see that little farmhouse in the distance while I’m up there flying. I quite enjoy that pretty sunset by the large hill. I enjoy peering down on that beautiful river when flying at an even higher altitude. The views are gorgeous up here. But still ... farmhouse, hill, river. Farmhouse, hill, river.
“Take me to a new flying field on occasion or consider going to an event. I’ve heard about larger landscapes, other bodies of water to view (ponds or lakes!), and grass landing strips versus the usual paved ones. Oh, how I envy other airplanes that talk of adventures on the other coast or even across town.”
Don’t Forget About Me
“Here’s the thing. I’m in your vehicle a lot. While I lay suspended on PVC pipes, with bungee cords as a kind of seat belt, I hear what you’re talking about. I hear your coffee orders at the drive-thru. I thoroughly love the songs you repeat on your playlist—well, maybe not that baby shark one, but I understand. That’s all the good stuff. Food orders and peppy tunes.
“Sometimes, however, I hear other things and it saddens me. I hear you on your cell-phone, talking to someone about another airplane. You talk all about how much better it will likely fly compared with me, how everyone is talking about this one, and how it’s so neat looking and requires less fuss.
“Um, I can hear you, buddy! You do know that I’m right here, don’t you? You know I’ve faithfully been by your side for some time now, but whatever. Sigh.”
Hey, You Missed a Spot!
“Yay! Here you come with your glass cleaner and paper towels! Thank goodness.
“My belly is covered with gnats and other little thingies that adhered to me while you flew me all around up there. I feel gross.
That landing of yours added to the mess as well. I’m a bit muddy, pal, so I am thrilled to see you here, cleaner in hand.
“Except ... wait a minute! What do you call that? You’re done? If I were a person, this would be a sponge bath at best. Please don’t overlook my underside, as much as you might not want to see what’s there and deal with certain unmentionables. You wouldn’t brush only the left side of your mouth, would you? Or like it if someone shoveled just half of the snow on your sidewalk?”
Thank You
“I know I’ve sort of complained a lot. I might not always like where I’m stored or how I’m cleaned, but the truth is that I wouldn’t have it any other way. We enjoy our flights, you fix my covering, and you go out of your way to ensure that I have quality parts.
“You sit for hours on end, chatting and looking things up online, all in the name of trying to figure out why I give you rudder issues. You even bought a new vehicle based not on outstanding gas mileage but on backseat dimensions to accommodate my wing!
“I sense your sadness when you think I might have broken a propeller during a hard landing, and I appreciate your happiness upon the relief that I did not. It’s all good. Thank you!
“But seriously, can we talk about that vase?”
“Howdy, it’s your airplane again. I love this view, but I sure do wonder what it’s like to see new sights, such as these, from way up high.”
